O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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