Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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