What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
where are you?
Hypothermia
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
