Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
