so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
