I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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