fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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