He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
