She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
