Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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