Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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