Whod you bang
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
