So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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