I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
