she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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