ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
