I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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