So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
