as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
