you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
