you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
