I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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