Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
