They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
