we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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