don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
it's great music for shaving your balls
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
