After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
