Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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