Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
