I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
