He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
