I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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