Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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