I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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