I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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