Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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