need another drink. this is the easiest way
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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