Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Randomize
