elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize