Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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