Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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