Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize