i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Quick, to the slutcave!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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