We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
