I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
