dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
