I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
