bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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