i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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