Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
