He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
