saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
