I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
