Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
