had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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