are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
