omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
