You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
