my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
im six kinds of drunk right now
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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