You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
