I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
