do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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